Bride VS Golfers
We all make choices in life, some big, some small, some relevant and some not so relevant. However, one of the biggest is that of choosing a companion. Once that choice is made then it is usually followed by “will you marry me?” If the answer is yes, then how do you wish to celebrate? Will the wedding be big or small, where should such a festive occasion be held? And the list goes on and on.
Golf courses have long been sought-after venues for such a gala. They have everything you could want when hosting family and friends to share in your nuptial affair. Great food, well stocked bar, well decorated dining areas and wonderful locations for pictures that help capture the day for time memorial.
As my memory can recall, quite vividly as I come to think of it, on one sunny Saturday afternoon such an event was held at the course on the Garrison. All was going according to plan. The weather was cooperating, the wedding party hadn’t got lost and my staff had the appropriate number of golf carts set aside. Golf carts in which to lead the party on to a location on the course that was most suitable for photos and would keep them safe from the two-legged golfers wandering their own course in search of that elusive score.
On a side note, once the Best Man found out that golf carts came with their very own drink holders, it was back inside to the bar to stock up. His newfound giddiness made me wonder if he shouldn’t have been on the bride’s side of the aisle. “Look, drink holders, so cool, come on let’s load up,” was the last thing I remember hearing before the “men” hustled back up to the main bar for more wedding day fuel.
I had retreated into the golf shop when such a display started but assured them that I was only a few yards away and would be ready to go when they returned. Honest, I was just on the phone handling some super important details that needed to be worked out for the next day’s play. Details such as, will it rain tomorrow, what time will it rain and if it’s raining can we still play?
Fate can be fickle at times and this time was no exception. When I stepped out of the golf shop to my dismay all ten carts were missing, including the wedding party with their resident photographers. To say I panicked would be an understatement. When I inquired as to which direction they were last seen heading in, (down the 18th fairway) I was in hot pursuit. I now had strangers moving in a convoy around the course, but strangers who I wasn’t convinced knew the first thing about golf course etiquette. (Remember they were amused regarding drink holders in carts!)
What seemed like an eternity was about 10 minutes before I heard the first of several screams. Dashing toward the sounds as quick as a politician in search of a TV camera I discovered them scattering toward the trees to the right of the 8th fairway. (going left they would have ended up in either of the two ponds)
Having finally herded them all together and inquiring about what they were doing in the middle of the 8th fairway I was shocked to learn that they had settled on that particular location to set-up for their wedding photos. But the conversation that followed was the icing on the proverbial wedding cake.
“Why are you so upset?” I inquired.
“Those idiots,” pointing back toward the 8th tee, “are hitting golf balls at us!” the flustered bride screamed at me.
“Those idiots are members playing golf on their golf course, they have every right to play the 8th hole since they played the first 7 and would like to play the 9th” was my calm reply.
She countered with, “don’t they know it’s MY WEDDING DAY?!”
“Oh, I am sure they are aware now that it’s your wedding day, but I can also assure you I don’t think they are overly concerned about it,” I said as politely as I could. “If you could all take a deep breath and follow me, I can show you a much better location for your pictures and you will not have to contend with any of those pesky golfers.”
The good news is that after I got her and her party (not sure what part the Groom played in all this since he was either a mute or in witness protection, he never spoke a word) calmed down I took them to a great place with a pond and three large willow trees that was unencumbered from badly dressed people pretending to be golfers. They spent almost 2 hours setting up different shots and consuming copious amounts of adult beverages. To say the least, they came back happy which was all that I was looking for after having nearly started WWIII.
Frieism: weddings are optional, funerals are mandatory
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